We built our business on great customer service
At the beginning at least, but then we realized we could make a lot more money if we kinda stopped caring about that. Our new strategy is to write a bunch of things that look really good in the headlines, then clarify in the small print but hope people don't actually read it.
Free Shipping
It's not actually free we just price it into the products. Someone's paying for it, and it's not us.
24/7 Customer Support
Our AI chat widget is powered by a naive series of if/else statements. Guaranteed to irritate.
Fast Shopping Cart
Look how fast that cart is going. What does this mean for the actual experience? I don't know.